building connection = default + 1
Machine-printed 5x7 “thank you” cards, Linked in connection invites with the canned message “I’d like to join your network, please.” and silence are the default because they are what most people will send and do.
Default robs you of your voice (because others said the same thing).
Default is impossible to parse (because everyone acted identically).
Default is hard hard to pay attention to because we’re accustomed to seeing it (see: habituation).
Default, for all these reasons, is pro-noise and doesn’t work well for forming meaningful connections with others.
Here’s a proposed solution: whatever is decidedly default, add one thing to it.
Examples of +1 action (things that most people will not do): hand-written cards, putting your phone away when you’re having a conversation with another human, sending a thank-you e-mail to your team after a long day of work.
All connections worth having in life start with earning the attention of the people we want to engage. +1 action is an on opportunity to earn attention (and respect) by expressing (rather peculiarly) that you care deeply for the person you’re engaging with.
