Unable versus unwilling

When you draw the conclusion that something cannot happen, be very clear: is it because you’re unable or unwilling?

If you’re unable, it means that external factors out of your control are holding you back. Is what it is.

If you’re unwilling, it means you’re capable of doing something but you’re choosing not to do it — maybe you’re tired and would rather not, maybe you’re having reservations, or maybe you simply don’t feel like it. This is an acknowledgment worth digging deeper into.

Whatever your reasoning, when you’re unwilling it can be powerful to say aloud “I am unwilling to do this”.

You can see this declaration as an act of setting a firm boundary that you want yourself or others to respect, or you can see it as a humbling realization that the main thing stopping you from making progress is you.

Over the last several weeks, I’ve asked myself on many occasions whether something can’t happen because I’m unable or unwilling and in most cases, I was simply unwilling. I then asked myself, “is my unwillingness to do this getting in the way of me achieving my goals?”

In many cases, the answer was yes again.

It’s important to be able to arrive at this kind of realization that you — specifically your unwillingness — is your primary blocker.

In many cases, you will find that the root of this unwillingness is born out of a desire to stay comfortable in some way. You don’t want to think too hard or exert yourself too much — things like that.

Here’s an idea to consider: comfort doesn’t really have any place being a prerequisite for the challenges you take on.

In the same way you would expect an athlete preparing for competition to be breathless and strained during a training session, you should expect yourself to be operating beyond the edges of your comfort zone — where things are quite difficult and unprecedented for you — if you want to see any growth.