What must be but sometimes isn’t

I’ve felt imposter syndrome at every part of my career. It’s fueled by a desire to do things not just well, but perfectly — a common perception among those who feel imposter syndrome.

It sounds like a great mindset to have, but can be very anxiety-provoking and actually counter productive in practice.

The psychologist Albert Ellis has some clarifying and comforting words for those among us who hold unrealistic expectations of ourselves:

“There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.”

All things we’d love to be true and are humbled and disappointed by upon discovering that they are not always true.

Not everything will go well, we will not always be treated well, and the world will sometimes be hard.

Accepting this as a part of our world instead of covering our eyes hoping that it isn’t and is like lifting a giant weight off our shoulders.